What are my strengths and weaknesses?

Updated November 9, 2026

Start with strengths: ask three to five people for one moment when you were at your best, and keep what comes back. For weaknesses, ask one question, "What's one thing I could do more often?", and look at the overused side of each strength: a weakness is often a strength pushed too far.

Strengths first, and why

The authors of the Reflected Best Self exercise (Harvard Business Review, 2005) point out that people remember criticism but respond to praise. Knowing your strengths also makes weaknesses easier to handle: it lets you say, in their example, "I'm great at leading but lousy at numbers. So rather than teach me remedial math, get me a good finance partner."

Strengths and their overused side

The 2005 article gives a real case: Tim, told he was a great listener and coach, realized he spent too much time cheering his team on and too little keeping them to task. Same strength, both sides.

How to ask about weaknesses without hurting the friendship

• One question, and make it about the future: "What could I do more often?" or "less often?".
• Ask people who saw you in many situations, not only at your best.
• Ask after the strengths question, never instead of it.
• Thank them. Don't explain or defend.

Examples

• Strengths: kindness, honesty, humor, curiosity, perseverance, fairness, creativity, gratitude (from the 24 character strengths of Peterson and Seligman, 2004).
• Weaknesses: taking on too much, avoiding hard conversations, starting more than you finish, overthinking, needing to be right, putting off what bores you.

Questions